This blog is a reflection of my personal love life. Let’s just say “If I knew then what I know now” I probably wouldn’t be a 40-year-old bachelor. I was the last in my circle of friends to lose his virginity. I had a 6-year relationship with my high school sweetheart. I became a “pick-up artist” while secretly a helpless romantic.
I have wavered between “fuck boy” and “boyfriend” across 2 decades. Looking back on what I’ve learned, I’ve decided to share it all under the pen name of “Tonton” which means uncle in France. It’s what my nephews and nieces call me. That said, this project is largely for my little brother, my nephews and friends.
My sensei always said, “pain is your greatest teacher”.
I’ve spent 4 years living as a digital nomad in my 30s. I’m Canadian and have travelled all over America and Europe. There are conversations I wish I had with my father before going on my first date. The sad truth is, that most fathers never learn this for themselves, so they can’t be expected to pass it on.
Without further adieu, let’s start with a few basic concepts before we dive-in… let’s talk about “The Bird’s & The Bee’s” and I don’t mean where babies come from… I’m talking about the things they don’t teach you in school, about the world of dating.
Step 1 – How To Listen
If I ever have a son or even a daughter, this will be the first thing I share with them about dating. It begins with being able to read your romantic interest. Not only what they want but who they are, why you should or shouldn’t date them… when to go in for the kiss and where to sweep them off their feet. But more importantly, are they really what you want? What you need? Are they even who you think they are?
The following 4 readings refer to something I learned in my twenties after buying a “pick-up artist” e-book. The truth is, these concepts apply to both women and men. Because the truth is both men and women manipulate each other. So as much as these readings teach you how to manipulate others, they also teach you to protect yourself from being manipulated.
Have I rattled your cage a little? Good, sometimes we aren’t ready for dating. Sometimes we need to take a break. Sometimes we lose our way. Sometimes we get hurt. Sometimes we hurt others. That said, you need to learn how to listen… to others and especially to yourself.Read The Blog
Step 2 – How to SpeakLove Languages
Non-Violent Communication Read The Blog
Step 3 – How to GrowBoundaries